Abel’s birthday is almost here! My life has changed more in the last year than in any other time in my life (except for maybe moving out and getting married). I went from building our filmmaking business on the side, to getting pregnant unexpectedly and having a baby, to deciding to quit my job and go full time with our filmmaking at the beginning of 2020, with big hopes and dreams for the future!
My entire married life has seemed to be a continuous exercise in having faith in God’s timing.
Deciding to quit my job wasn’t hard for me. Maybe it’s because my mom told me stories about how she would cry all the way to work after dropping me off at daycare as a baby, but I always knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom. After moving to North Carolina when I was three, my mom decided to stay home with my brother and I.
And I always thought, “Well, that’s an easy choice! Why wouldn’t everyone want to stay home with their babies?”
I didn’t realize that is often easier said than done!
Many of you know that Brandon and I struggled to have a baby. We lost three babies over the first six years of our marriage, and with each pregnancy, I was faced with the reality that we couldn’t afford for me to stay home with a baby.
But in God’s divine wisdom, he led our life step by step to having Abel at this time.
We can be so impatient for God to hurry and give us what we want. We think that if X, Y, or Z isn’t done by this time, then what’s the point? It’ll be too late, we’ll be too old, we’ll have already missed out.
That’s a lie, God’s work takes time!
In a Bible study I did at the beginning of this year, one of the things that stuck out to me was: we have to learn to trust both God’s methods and his timing. God doesn’t just have his perfect ways that are higher than our own, but he has a specific time for them too. The timing is part of the plan.
Before I knew I was pregnant with Abel, Brandon and I had discussed me quitting my job at the end of the year (2019) to go full time with Sarah and Brandon Films. Our business was doing well and growing, and we thought the timing was right! Then, I got pregnant with Abel, and we felt like God was confirming that quitting my job at the end of the year was the right decision. After all, I had always wanted to stay home when I had babies, and now God was letting me know that now the time was right.
As I look back over the last few years, I can see how God has worked separately in my personal life, my marriage, and our business and weaved them all together into multiple purposes that I couldn’t dream of. He intersected Abel’s birth with the quitting of my job because he knew my desire was to stay home with him, and if we had not lost our other babies, we most certainly wouldn’t have started our business, which is the whole reason I’m able to stay at home in the first place! Only God could foresee and orchestrate such an intricate plan!
January 1st, 2020, I was done with maternity leave, and I officially quit my job at the environmental lab I had worked at for five and a half years and became a work from home mom. I was so thankful and felt so blessed to be able to live a dream that I had imagined my whole life! Those first months of Abel’s life were so blissful to me.
But we all know how the story of 2020 goes!
I’m sure everyone could give their own version of how their life was rearranged by COVID this year. You’re not alone, everyone had plans and dreams that didn’t work out in one way or another. We thought this was going to be a year of booming growth for our business, that our bookings would increase and we would be able to make it work on one income, but as God would have it, I quit my job the one year no one wanted to get married! God’s perfect timing?
As COVID began to get serious and our weddings started to reschedule, we thought, “Surely things will be back to normal by the Fall wedding season!”
Well, that didn’t happen.
We will shoot a grand total of five weddings this year, and our hearts are broken for the brides and grooms who had to give up dreams of having a big wedding.
We’re still in the middle of figuring out God’s plan for us this year, but I know I have nothing to fear. Just because we don’t see the end, doesn’t mean God doesn’t know the path. I know God led me to quit my job this year, and eventually, I’ll look back and see why it was actually the perfect timing.
No regrets or second guessing. Being home with Abel has been a dream come true!
What are you trusting God for this year? Do you have doubts? Don’t give up on God just yet. The best is yet to come!
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9